Different, not less

I'm stealing a Temple Grandin quote for the title of this blog post, because it is apt.

I realised today how learning I have a mental disability has made me more accepting of other people with mental disabilities, or mental differences maybe I should call them.

I had always felt exceedingly uncomfortable around people who were mentally different. All that flapping and involuntary noises and just being generally abnormal just made me feel all weird inside.

But then I learned that I have Asperger's, and I learned that a lot of what i do and what I consider perfectly normal, other people also consider weird. Things like flapping my hands when I get excited, striding along talking to myself, or talking to people who are not there (although I only do this when I'm along because, let's face it - that one IS pretty weird), not coping well with changes in plan, and almost panicking when things don't go right - all those things are not what most people do.

It really hit me today. I was walking my dog in the park and I fell in behind a couple of men. It was hard to tell from behind but one seemed to be in his late 40s and was walking calmly behind the other one, who was a good deal younger - probably late teens or early twenties. The first thing that struck me was that the younger man was touching everything. First he would stroke his hand along a park bench, then touch a tree, playing with a stray low branch, then he bent down and touched the grass. The second thing that struck me was that he was clearly mentally different - most people do not do this.

But instead of making me feel uncomfortable - it just made me think "Aw how sweet - he is clearly loving being out in the park and is experiencing everything in full measure." I mean, if it makes him HAPPY to be touching everything he sees, who am I to think it's weird?

Rules for living in an NT world #3

Rules for living in an NT world - #2

Friends

Is it an oxymoron to want to start a social group for adult Aspies?

We're not known for our socialising, but I thought it might be useful to have some sort of self-help group where we could share experiences and just have a good old moan. One of my oldest friends has contacted me on FB and said that because of me announcing my diagnosis, she started reading up about Asperger;s in order to understand me, and realised she also has a lot of the signs. So I sent her the link to the Aspie quiz and her results were almost identical to mine - there was only a single point different. It really opened my eyes as this friend is one of the last people I would have said would have AS. When I said this, she just said "I'm a good actress". How many others of us are there out there struggling to cope, alone?

I asked my therapist if there was anything and she said no. She has been wanting to set something up but she is run off her feet.

I looked online, and still nothing.

I did find an organisation called Blackpool Tiggers which runs activities for children and young people with autism and Asperger's, but what about us oldies?

So I emailed Blackpool Tiggers and made my suggestion. Perhaps they can help, or advertise for us, or even start something themselves. I would be happy to organise it.

If there is anyone else in Blackpool or the surrounding areas with Asperger's reading this and you might like to join a self-help group, feel free to comment.

I'm thinking of starting a FB group also.

Update on the house: we went to see it on Friday. It is perfect - exactly what we need. There are only a couple of tiny snags - the garden is small and so is the dining area. But the living room is lovely and big and all the bedrooms are a good size. Often in new builds the bedrooms are tiny, but these are not. The room I'd have as my office is big too, so I can put all my crap in there, my desk/computer, bookcases, digital piano, even my treadmill, so the downstairs will be nice and uncluttered. There's a good big utility room with a back door I can put a cat flap in so the animals can go in there to sleep at night, and it has a tiled floor so if Minnie has any little accidents they are easily cleaned up!

There were two other viewers that same afternoon and when I rang the agents they said they would wait till everyone had viewed it, so if there were multiple applications, the LL would decide who got it. But I rang up this morning and so far they have only had my application, so fingers crossed!!

Friends - The Rembrandts