Thursday, 13 March 2014

Rules for living in an NT world #3

Monday, 10 March 2014

Is it me? It must be me.

I do!

In boring job seeks whiny shrew for co-dependency, tepid sex, and shouting matches. I enjoy drinking, petty theft, pornography, and self-righteous indignation. 
I like to run with scissors. I love to give compliments that prominently display my gender stereo-types. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure. For fun, I enjoy browsing other people's profiles and making shallow judgments about their employment, and social skills.
Everything I need to know about life I got from watching Jeremy Kyle. In my free time I have written a thesaurus that included an emphasis on the most useful curses. I would kill to win the Nobel Peace prize.
I have middling intelligence but try to appear smarter by affecting a world-weary air, memorizing useless statistics, and chuckling at my own mean-spirited, agenda-driven jokes.

You are a man-hating, bitter shrew with a misplaced sense of entitlement and utopic expectations. Over time you will blame me and grow hostile when I don't fulfill every need you've ever had.
Bonus points if you just finished dating every guy in town but now want to take your time with me.
My perfect night would include getting hammered in a sh*ty bar while you flirt with seedy old drunks, followed by a loud screaming match and culminating in an ashtray blow to the head - yours or mine, it doesn't really matter.

I would be open to an unsatisfying fling but prefer a long-term, soul crushing descent into alcoholism and pills. Age unimportant, but I often condescend to women under 30 and rehash mother issues with women over 53. Serious replies only, please.

Oh yes and someone told me that online dating sites are littered with strange people, so I figured I should filter out the weirdos by asking some serious questions. Please answer carefully:

1) Have you at any point in your life been a fan of Nickelback?
2) Have you watched more than one episode of 'Keeping up with the Kardashians'?


It's not original. A quick search reveals at least half a dozen identical profiles. But whoever wrote it first was spot on. I think we're a match made in heaven! When do you want to book the wedding? I do!

Being yourself...

Why Elsa from Frozen should be the Aspergers’ heroine

Elsa was born different. She has a power that her family don’t understand and are therefore afraid of. One day, while exercising her power, she accidentally hurts her little sister, Anna. The troll (so-called ‘love’ expert) responds by removing all memories of that power. Anna is not permitted to know her sister is different; she is never given a chance to understand her sister as she truly is. Her sister is stolen from her by people who believe they are acting in her best interests.

Subsequently, through terror of hurting her sister again, Elsa is forced to hide away, to hide her ability, her true self, to force down her feelings, any feelings. “Conceal. Don’t feel. Don’t let it show.”

How many of us feel we have been forced to hide our difference through the fear of hurting others, inadvertently? Forced to fit in, to pretend? Or just to hide away, alone, as Elsa does, if we can’t manage to fit in successfully, to pretend to be like everyone else?

And what was the result for both Anna, and Elsa? They each lost their sister, their loving relationship, through their parents’ crushing fear of Elsa’s difference.

At the coronation, the problem comes into full force. Elsa’s difference is revealed, and reviled. She escapes, to be alone and free, to finally be who she wants to be. Why do so many Aspies feel happiest alone? It is because we can finally be ourselves, not forced to try to fit in, not forced to be what they expect us to be.

And her power is beautiful and wonderful. She is creative, free, amazing. But yet again, the fear that was instilled in her long ago, threatens to ruin her world. Again, she hurts the person she loves the most, ironically through fear of hurting her. She pushes her away. I know that feeling; so hurt by people in the past, I have pushed away potential friends through fear of being hurt, or of hurting them.

And what is the answer, after all this? Love. Love is the answer. Elsa does not lose her powers, but she learns to control them because of the love of her sister, which was denied her all those years ago. Once she accepts that she is loved, and understands that love can undo any hurt that her difference has caused.

I have only experienced that sort of unconditional love from my children and my wonderful best friend. Sadly, my husband has yet to come to terms with my difference. He is still trying to get me to fit in, to be that good girl Elsa tried, and ultimately failed, to be. But to be yourself, and to be loved for being yourself...if we can achieve that in life, we have won.

“Let it go, let it go. Can’t hold it back any more. I don’t care what they’re going to say. Let the storm rage on. The cold never bothered me anyway.”